One vexing, extremely unpleasant and shameful thing happened to my family. When we were kids and something bad happened, our mama used to say "don't you worry, child, we'll figure it out" and it would instantly make us feel relieved. Now we don't believe her. I don't believe her, even though she tries to convince me this is going to be ok and they are going to figure it out. I clearly see how much of a problem it is and it does upset her and she, in fact, can't do anything about it. It's painful to realize that the fact, that it makes you anxious and upsets you too, hurts her but you can't pull yourself together and conseal it yet. I want her to think I'm not going to worry about it but I can't lie. In this very moment when lies would be such a blessing, I understand I can't do that for the sake of my mom's serenity because I'm weak and gutless. When these things happen you wonder if it's happened for a reason, and you hope that it has happened for a reason, but it still sucks and it's going to take quite a time till I finally get over it.