I am disappointed in relationships, in myself beeing somebody's. I don't understand how can it be to be absolutely happy to see somebody 24 hours a day, to hear his voice and consider it as the reason of your happiness. What if i was never suppose to be somebody's girlfriend. sometimes i think i will never settle down, never find somebody ideal for myself. i regret starting new relationships after breaking up with my first love. I had to stop, to have at least a year by my own. it was such a big mistake. I cant remind myself what its like to be able to dovetail my choices and decisions only with my family. the day i broke up with Ramasan i felt so free, i didnt want anyone to tell me it was horrible, to discuss with me reasons, to, oh God no, feel sorry for me. I kept it in a secret the whole day and even the day after that because i finally did something I wanted and i felt free. I couldn't stop repeating that. BUT WHY THE HELL I HAVE