i want to get a job

ugh

this is just so much of a problem rn bc i know i never really go for it bc once i did and got rejected and that's probably the reason why i never even try

and like

all the phonecalls i would have to make and all the meetings i would have to go on

just no

but i do want my life to be something good and ofc i'm thinking about it only bc i'm watching greek and ashleigh doesnt have a job i mean srsly that's the basis of this problem

i want my life to be good and productive and ~achievementfull (and yes that's not a word who cares?)

i'm just afraid that i will be nowhere by the end of uni and i fear that so hard