Well, may be I'm not happy. Yes, I refused from the principle, which carried along whole life with me. Why do I try to be there and not be here, now? Because it was better earler. Everything was native and simply. What's now? I don't know. I even can't decide what like and what hate.
So stupidly to hide in the past and to refuse to belive that everything have left. But I can't live now, today. I don't want. There is too much pain here.