i fought with Tamara. she is being so bitchy to me. she says she is in a bad mood. so what? omg why does she have to show it up and to act like everything whats going on between her and reese is the most important in the world. it can be it her own world. in her life. but its not supposed to touch the lives of others around her. i dont get it. she is being so selfish. she thinks only of herself. every single day we come home from somewhere and she goes straight into her room and talk to reese either on the phone or in messages. thats so dumb. she grounds herself from eveeyone and everything else. also they nave an agreement now not to talk to anyone about their relationships with each other. i think its suuuch a stupid decision, cause when you share your problems and thoughts with someone it gets so much easier to get through. so thats not really mature to my mind.

i would care at all if i wasnt alone all the time. when i fuckin need her here. i need support and understanding. i need someone to be here for me. because i left everything. i left all my life to come here. i am a person who needs someone to talk to, to laugh with and to give hugs to.

its so hard for me now. i miss my life in russia. i miss my close friends. and i need something here instead of it not to feel lonely. i know that as soon as school starts everything will get better. well at least i hope so. but for now i am just dying inside.

also i am not going to mexico. flights are to expensive (1700$) and i would need to get 2 visas. both american and mexican. so that sucks pretty much. but i am gonna be alright. i hope i will make friedns right away so i would have someone to hang out with and just be by myself. like i am not even used to being by myself. i am used to having people who care about me.

but as i always do i will just consider it as an expeirence in my life.

there i some good news too. i went to meet with don yesterday and everything went so well. i thought they were gonna test me or something but they didnt. sooo i am happy! and i am taking english, math, social and drama this semester. and i got a shirt from school! so that was nice :)

i am starving now. so i hope the dinner is almost readyy!lol.