taste for life Well, here we are. Sooner and sooner is coming the age, which seriously doesn't change anything, but means a lot for everyone. Time is running and two months left till my B-day. What do I expect from it? Nothing really spesial. As it was and as it is for me the most wanted is estate pleasure. Some kind of mood for me, which ain't really easy to explain. Hm this all i got from book or movie image. Some kind of '' taste for life'', how my mom calls it. Huh, how i imagine my self at my 18th? Maybe its kind of a biiig party, with lots of drunk friends around and im in the middle of a dance floor also dancing hot with someone handsome? Or maybe its cottege, which is rent for few days, and there are around 30 people, havin' fun, swiming in pool, maybe making barbeque, and tonight all girls and guys share rooms for two, to continue fun in different meaning? Or maybe its kind of big flat which, different homemade coctails and comfortable round of people, close friends and chillout music? You know, this all is great, sure. But not the way i want to feel my 18. Why, explain me why i see my self just like: Warm light, fresh air outside, sitting on terassa of not large restaurant, listening to live Jazz Band with black saxophonist with drop on his forehead and face full of unexplainable emotions, with his mind not there, the one who live the life of his sounds he makes and love the life he live. With a glass of Asti Spumante and later maybe Sangiovese. Oh, i already feel this symphony of instrumental music, wine and taste of Italy, which takes me far on the waves of pleasure…. Should i feel incomplite, not independend if i say the one imoportant aspect is to have a man infront of me. Honestly while my imagination was painting colorfull pictures, on every i was on my own. Alone. Becasue its enough to feel this mood, even when i am alone. Or just maybe i don't know a person who would completly understand my ''taste of life'' the same way like i do? Maybe it makes me feel uncomfortable, if someone would just try to understand or do it cuz i like to do it like this. But understand is not the right explanation for this. This is impossible to understand. You can just feel it. Or you can't. And yes, this doesnt have to mean i can't be happy on my own, but sure, i would feel incomplit. Espesially when night comes, and i want to make a little bit drunkmind walk through the nighttime Milano, through its streets and the perfectly done architecture houses. To close my eyes in bed, and feel like i don't wish to be somebody. I am. And i am myself, with all this estatic images in my mind and all this childish in me. Thats not all, i could tell, that in the morning, i would like to wake up at 11, have a cup of espresso somewhere under shadow of a city cafe, have an easy breackfast and take my way to discover springtime Milan, with all this treasure of great artists and all the other unforgetable people from here… Well. Surely i am a dreamer. Hm, does it feel like i am getting 18 or it seems like im around 40, huh? Sure, party time will also have place to be in the ways of celebration. But i see different. I see more.