I feel a bit thrown. I'm not used to this kind of focused attention. HE always took everything at face value. HE'd have said "right babe" and I could have moved the subject on quickly and HE never would have questioned it or thought about it again.. Because HE was never really that interested in me. It hits me like a drench of cold water. I thought HE was just easy-going and laid-back. I loved him for it. But now I understand better. The truth is, he was laid-back because he didn't really care. Not about me. Not enough, anyway.
I feel like I'm finally stepping out of some trance. I was so busy chasing after HIM, so desperate, so sure of myself, I never looked closely enough at what I was chasing. I never stopped to ask if HE really was the answer. I've been such an idiot.. huh…