This is the third post for today. I don`t know who else I can talk to except you, and if I do not tell anyone, I just can`t handle it, because I was afraid of this more than anything else. I have not come back to my "I'm dying because of this shit" music since November. And for the first time since November, I feel this disgusting bitterness rising in me. It is so strong that it almost feels physically. I haven`t felt it for so long. I thought this feeling will never come back, but I would never be able to mix it up. Then it merged with me so much that I will never forget it. And ah, guys, I'm so scared. I think I've already forgotten how to pretend. In any case, the time when you want to cry from a line of the song and die under a blanket, choking with tears came. Congrats to me and I`m really sorry that I can`t handle with my feelings and you have to read this shit.