Yes, I acknowledge that i am depended at my feelings. When I saw him my thoughts move into my haed. Also I don't understant what i want at him. That he is near me for a while or that he'll tell me about his relationship to me. But as far as i know he doesnot tell me anything. Anton sad me that he is just a boy and everything for him is only jape or just pity to me. I so want to think that it's only his guess: (U would know how i think about everything relating to this situation, i cannot find a plаce for myself. And this my letter, sometimes i think that it was my wrong that i wrote its, but may be it was right. Once i sad to him that i love him, but he just judged me. When i wrote this letter i was thinking about right words, about my feelings. Just i mant to know the truth.