Dear readers, the battle of the Titans is upon us. No, not Inter v. Barca or even Bayern v. Lyon, but something much more important than that.
We’re talking about the fashion face-off that’s about to go down on the pitch perimeters. Tonight, two of the best looking managers in football, Pep Guardiola (Barcelona) and José “The Special One” Mourinho (Inter Milan), are going head-to-head in the style stakes.
Le sigh. What is it about these two? Their yelling, pacing and mad scientist gesturing whilst in designer gear is like a mating call for the modern footy woman.
So, let’s get down to judging. We’ve got a few criteria to take into consideration:
PERSONAL STYLE
Pep is full of win, in more ways than one. While guiding his team onto victory, (in pretty much everything), the inimitable Mr. Guardiola still manages to cut a figure of high style on the pitch. His skill lies in colour coordination – whether it’s finding the perfect grey tie to match his suit, or navigating the complicated area that is the purple sweater, he knows his way around a fabric swatch.
However, when it comes to off-the-pitch style, Pep tends to take it down a notch, and is prone to outbreaks of extreme fash-fail, which is, Kickettes, deeply unacceptable to us.
José, the self proclaimed Special One, has been on our radar for a long time, and since he now inhabits the city of style, Milano, we expect nothing less than sartorial supremacy. Luckily, he delivers in spades. TSO likes classics; blues, greys and blacks are his shades of choice and nobody can deny that he wears them well. Off-the-pitch, his style is just asconsistent, leading us to believe that he has the full package (hee) when it comes to being style-savvy.
Verdict: José Mourinho takes this round.
ATTITUDE
Pep is by all accounts, the perfect gentleman. He is gracious both in defeat and in triumph, and as far as we can tell, has never had a bad word to say about rival teams and managers. His English is unexpectedly awesome too, which gives us the warm fuzzies.
José in contrast, is an arrogant, albeit, charming individual. Any man who names himself ‘The Special One’, has got a big ego, and José has swagger in spades. Take it away, Mr. M:
“I am not worried about pressure. If I wanted to have an easy job, working with the big protection of what I have already done before, I would have stayed at Porto – beautiful blue chair, the UEFA Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”
Verdict: We at Kickette love a rake, and José’s form of OTT confidence pushes all of our bad-boy buttons. (We’d be rolling our eyes, but we’d so be all over it.) Anyhoo, this round goes to José. He’s too snarky to be denied.
PERSONAL GROOMING
On the beauty maintenance front, Pep’s hair to stubble ratio borders on perfection, with his facial hair never outplaying the (lack of) head hair. Pep manages to stay pretty damn swoonworthy regardless of his hairline, and we’re a tad partial to his wide-range of tongue-porn. Added bonus: rubbing his hair fuzz would act as an excellent stress reliever. In other words, Pep is a recommended wrinkle-reducer.
José on the other hand, brings new meaning to the “silver fox ” look. His salt and pepper hair give him a sexy/swarthy quality that sets off his personality perfectly. Unfortch, we get the squickies over his hairy monkey hands. Serious grooming fail, TSO.
Verdict: We’ve got to go with Pep.
SIDELINE STANCE
When motionless, Pep looks like a vision in gafferdom, but more often than not, his penchant for gesturing wildly, and animated facial expressions, detract from the sartorial elegance that his stillness brings. Still, we have to admire a manager who lets it all out on the field, and gives us ample fodder for lulz in our post-game picture stalkage.
José also lets his passionate nature loose on the sidelines, and indulges in mucharm flailing and celebratory body flinging. He isn’t afraid to keep his players in check either, and bawling at them from his pitch-line home is a familiar sight. Would we expect anything less from The Special One?
Verdict: Both of our competitors display a strong talent for pitch-side theatrics, leaping and gesticulating like good’uns. You have to admire passion for the game, and any managers that care enough to look like fools in front of gazillions of cameras gets our respect. In this case, it’s just too close to call.