Stefan is a self loathing, guilt ridden, addictive personality. Matt is selfish, lacks empathy and cannot respect Elena’s wishes, and Damon is hubristic, remorseless, and exploits anyone he can for his or Elena’s own good (and Elena’s good his good since he’s trying to win her by showing off) And the worst of it all is that none of them can see, she has saved ALL of their lives at least once.