S by S

“I haven’t always had the best luck when it comes to relationships. I’ll be honest, I’ve fallen for a few bad guys. Okay, more than a few. From polygamist artists to Southern conmen, I’ve dated some real losers over the years. However, while some of the men from my past were bad, there have also been some guys who were actually pretty good. Ones who treated me well and who, I thought, could be around for the long haul. But they weren’t. People break up all the time. Yet my break-ups were different. They were always abrupt and I was often left without closure. It was hard to accept my failure in dating. Why was this constantly happening to me? Was I just clueless when it came to men and partnerships? But then I soon realized that whenever I dated a guy, it wasn’t just the two of us in the relationship. There was always someone else. And it wasn’t a family member or a friend. It was Gossip Girl.

Ever since I was fourteen, Gossip Girl has been reporting my every waking move. She tells the world when I buy a bag at Barney’s. Or when I drink a latte from Sant Ambroeus. But nothing fascinates her more than posts on my dating life. Every single date I ever went on in New York has been mentioned in Gossip Girl. From what I ate to what I wore to whether there was a kiss, she has given the specific details, of what should be a private matter, for all to see online. For a twenty-year-old, it’s daunting. For a girl going though adolescence, it’s traumatizing. I’ve been engaged in a constant series of and I’m only now realizing it.

But now that Gossip Girl has disappered, I’ve found myself in a relationship that seems to be the healthiest one I’ve… I feel like I can do things with the guy that I was never able to do before. We can hold hands while we walk down Fifth Avenue and can steal kisses while we wait in line at the moves. We can even go to Brooklyn without the snark! And no one is calling him Lonely Boy. It’s as if New York is our oyster and we can do whatever it is that we want to do without the fear of someone watching us. Or judging us. It’s refreshing. It makes me feel light and airy. Full of promise and hope. Perhaps this relationship could be it. With no Gossip Girl I don’t have to worry about what people think. I can be myself with this man, and she is the real Serena van der Woodsen. The one that I always wanted to be but couldn’t since the spotlight was constantly on me. Now that the light has dimmed, I think I’m ready to take the plunge and fall in love. But this time, it’s going to be on my own.”