I could say some blunt words to my chief and cought myself that I was going insane. But I want to have this job. My dream can be true only due to it. Another stupid thing is the situation with my boyfriend. He appeared in a some kind of aukward situation because I behaved like a… damned whretch. I pissed him off when told that he did nothing in the gym.. did he? No Of course not. He is a very nice sportsmen with a bright future.

And I….I'm stupid

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All right

The first night in a new home. For real we have moved to the nearest neighbourhood. The bed is bad, the room is fool of boxes and all that stuff. I'm stuck…. Whatever it takes to make everything right I'll do it. Car, muscels, education in Germany, motgage, my love, job, a cup of tea. How can I sleep. Seep… Ok I'm going to my wonderland. Good night.

Morning

Stupid sun right into my eyes like a poison. The plus is that I can think about anything and sink…. Unfortunately I can do nothing but waking and doing all the routines cherishing…. cherries?! Of course not… Only about the USA (oh my gosh), or studing abroad. I need a plan or a plane…

Hope

Really I grow it like a small tree, working hard and do everything for implementing it. But this small tree doesn't want to be bigger… Eager.. Yes I have it and waking up everyday whith one thought. My USA. But beforehand I neeed to enter the German college. But my new home. Who will pay for that. My new home is full of tears and cry. Yes I try to overcome it! And I will be the only winner!

Everything I wrote is shit.. I know that.

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