by Derrick Brown

Lying together in the park on Seventh,

our backs smoosh grass and I say

I will love you till become a child again, when feeding me and bathing me is no longer romantic,

but rather necessary.

I will I love you till there is no till.

Till I die.

And when that electroencephalogram shuts down, baby

that's when the real lovin' kicks in.

Forgive me for sounding selfish

but I won't be able to wait under the earth for you

(albeit a romantic thought for groundhogs,

gophers and the gooey worms).

I will not be able to wait for you…

but I will meet up with you

and here's where you will find me:

get a pen--

Hold your finger up

(two fingers if your hands are frail by now)

and count two stars directly to the left

of the North American moon.

You will find me there.

You will find me darting behind amazing quasars

Behind flirtatious winks of bright and blasting boom stars!

Sometimes charging so far into space

the darkness goes blue.

I will be there chasing sound waves

riding them like two-dollar pony ride horses

that have finally broken free and wild.

I will be facing backwards, lying sideways,

no hands, sidesaddle, sometimes standing

sometimes screaming zip zang zowie!

My God, it's good to be back in space… Where is everybody?

You will recognize my voice.

You will see the flash of a fire trail

burning off the back of me

burning like a gasoline comet kerosene sapphire.

This is my voice.

Don't look for my body or a ghost.

I'll resemble more a pilot light than a man now.

I'm sure some will see

this cobalt star white light from earth

and cast me a wish like a wonder bomb.

And I'll think "Hmmph. people still do that?"

I'm sure I'll take the light wonder bombs

to the point in the universe

where sound does end.

The back porch of God's summer home.

It's so quiet here, you float.

It feels the way cotton candy tastes.

I say to him… why do I call you God?

He says 'Because Grand Poobah sounds ridiculous.'

(Who knew he was so witty?)

I ask him 'Lord, so many poets have tried to nail it and missed, what is holy?'

At that moment,

the planets begin to spin and awaken

and large movie screens appear on Mars, Saturn and Venus

each bearing images I have witnessed

and over each and every clip flashes the word holy.

armadillos--holy

magic tricks--holy

cows' tongues--holy

snowballs upside the head--holy

clumsy first kisses--holy

sneaking into movies--holy

your mother teaching you to slow dance

the fear returning

the fear overcome--holy

eating top ramen on upside-down frisbees

cause it was either plates or more beer--holy

drunk beach cruiser nights--holy

the $5.00 you made in vegas

and the $450.00 you lost--holy

the last time you were nervous holding hands--holy

feeling God at a pool hall but not church--holy

sleeping during your uncle's memorized dinner prayer--holy

losing your watch in the waves and all that signifies--holy

the day you got to really speak to your father cause the television broke--holy

the day your grandmother told you something meaningful

cause she was dying--holy

the medicine

the hope

the blood

the fear

the trust

the crush

the work

the loss

the love

the test

the birth

the end

the finale

the design

in the stars

is the same

in our hearts

the design

in the stars

is the same

in our hearts

in the rebuilt machinery of our hearts

So love, you should know what to look for

and exactly where to go…

Take your time and don't worry about getting lost.

You'll find me.

Up there, a finger and two dots away.

If you're wondering if I'll still be able to hold you

…I honestly don't know

But I do know that I could still fall for

a swish of light that comes barreling

and cascading towards me.

It will resemble your sweet definite hands.

The universe will bend.

The planets will bow.

And I will say "Oh, there you are.

I been waitin' for ya. Now we can go."

And the two pilot lights go zoooooooom

into the black construction paper night

as somewhere else

two other lovers lie down on their backs and say

"What the hell was that?"

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