Тысячу лет девочке не давали конфетку. Тысячу лет ждали, когда она проснётся, очнется, встанет с колен. Тысячу лет девочка думала, а нужны ли ей вообще конфеты, или она обойдется сахарозаменителем.

И тут ей, под изумлённые взгляды публики, среди всех остальных, одной, главной, дали конфетку. С ядом, конечно, но куда сегодня от него денешься? И вкус, вкус власти, крови, сладкого, вкус этого яда — как его забыть?

Сразу после того, как девочка обнаружила, что в её женственности можно топить мужчин, они начали в ней тонуть.

And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack

All around the world was waking, I never could go back

Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn wide open

And finally it seemed that the spell was broken

And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open

And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone

No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden

No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love

No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love

No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

#писатель а #дневник а #чуства

Ситуация напомнила о старом, давно забытом фильме "в стиле вероники" (пишу с маленькой буквы, так как все совпадения имен и характеров случайны). Фильм, естественно, французский. Лента новостей заботливо принесла мне на хвостике самый жестокий момент, где они торжественно сидят в ресторане, и всплывает старое платье с открытыми плечами из нескольких кадров назад…в общем, вы поняли. А может и нет. В первый раз, когда я смотрела этот фильм, я была взбешена эгоизмом и жестокостью, малодушием и гордыней. Теперь же я думаю - может быть, это просто такая цирковая аллюзия на нашу жизнь? Что, никто не рушит семьи? Не бросается в омут с головой? Не живет по правилам, не зная, как ему на самом деле надо? Отличие только одно - делается это по-настоящему, без игры.

Я поняла, что со мной он проделал тот же трюк. Тот же, что у них в кино в ресторане. Не с такими же намеренями, конечно, но эффект примерно одинаковый. Всегда найдешь, как сделать любимому человеку больно, это ведь так просто. И так сложно удержаться и не сказать что-нибудь еще, чего говорить не надо. Это ведь не просто игра.

High in the halls of the kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most

The ones who'd been gone for so very long
She couldn't remember their names
They spun her around on the damp old stones
Spun away all her sorrow and pain

And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave

They danced through the day
And into the night through the snow that swept through the hall
From winter to summer then winter again
Til the walls did crumble and fall

And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave

High in the halls of the kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones
Who had loved her the most

I’m in love with an angel, heaven forbid Made me a believer with the touch of her skin I’d go to hell and back with you Stay lost in what we found. Worlds apart we were the same Until we hit the ground Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m weak Maybe I’m blinded by what I see You wanted a soldier but it wasn't me 'Cause I could never set you free So fly on your own It’s time I let you go Go I’m in love with an angel who’s afraid of the light Her halo is broken but there's fight in her eyes Walls are built to keep us safe Until they’re crashing down Worlds apart we were the same Until you hit the ground Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m weak Maybe I’m blinded by what I see You wanted a soldier but it wasn't me 'Cause I could never set you free So fly on your own It’s time I let you go Go Walls are built to keep us safe Until they’re crashing down Worlds apart we were the same Until you hit the ground Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m weak Maybe I’m blinded by what I see You wanted a soldier but it wasn't me 'Cause I could never set you free So fly on your own It’s time I let you go So fly on your own It’s time I let you go Go

I didn’t know feelings can bring so much pain, so long-lasting pain, the kind you can’t escape from. Some say there are5 stages of a break up: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I’ve been through all of them. Sometimes I felt hate, I know it’s not right, I know I have to let already go and be thankful for the good you have brought to my life. I hated you for leaving me and then because I am alone. And I’m not always good at dealing with the loneliness when I face the empty four walls each time when I come home.

So I let the tears come out, and after that it feels like I let go a bit more of what has left of you in me.